A month ago I touched briefly on the topic of acting upon impressions we receive in our minds or our hearts. One thing I shared is "When we do act upon those impressions we are often given further light and knowledge, and if we're lucky enough, some clarity."
I’ve had some experiences over the past few weeks since initially posting about Moving Forward with Faith to Build our Family, which have been accompanied by some very specific realizations, namely:
I’ve had some experiences over the past few weeks since initially posting about Moving Forward with Faith to Build our Family, which have been accompanied by some very specific realizations, namely:
Sometimes moving
forward with faith actually means learning to sit still and to wait for God’s
timing.
Even if something is
a basically good desire, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the timing is right
at the moment. Timing is everything.
I’m going to elaborate on each of these discoveries because,
well- this is my blog and writing is one way I sort out my thoughts when I’m
feeling overly analytical! But in
addition, I feel like although these lessons are tailor-made for me at this
point in my life and they have provided me with some additional clarity and a deepened understanding of which direction my family should take, I also believe that in a general sense many can relate to
these observations and apply them to their life’s circumstances- whatever those may be.
Now for some elaboration:
Sometimes moving
forward with faith actually means learning to sit still and to wait for God’s
timing.
I know, that sounds like an oxymoron- how can sitting still
equate with moving forward? They’re
basically opposites. This is an especially
hard concept to accept if you are a planner by nature. Trying to “let go” of how you think things
should turn out and handing it over to God takes a lot of trust and humility. It seems so much more predictable and
comfortable to try and plan things out yourself. Not to mention so much more convenient when
it’s on your personal timetable!
Sometimes we’re led
down one road solely to discover that there’s another road much better suited
for us. I’m not gonna beat around
the bush with what I mean by this in terms of our fostering/adopting journey
except to say that for so long our family has focused on having a baby (or very
young child) placed in our home. And you
know what? That’s a good desire, but I
am more inclined to think that the next child we welcome into our home- whether
temporarily via foster care or permanently through adoption- will be just that-
a child rather than a baby. In addition, there are other very practical
reasons why adopting a newborn through a private adoption may not be the best
fit for our family at this point in time.
Although it’s sad to think that we may not be welcoming any
more babies into our home I am also extremely grateful that over the past six
years I’ve had the amazing opportunity to care for seven babies (“baby” meaning
1 year or younger) in my home. Seven
babies in six years is pretty miraculous for an infertile woman. Talk about beauty for ashes. Infertility has definitely been a beautiful heartbreak for me.
I can see how my thinking has evolved from when we first
started the adoption process-nearly a decade ago- and how now we are more apt to
take ourselves out of the center of the equation and put the focus on the
child. In other words, it’s not so much
about finding the right baby or child for our family and fulfilling our needs
but about being the right family for a
child.
I just can’t ignore the fact that there are so many children
in my own country who are waiting for permanent homes. Everybody needs to belong to a family whether they’re four or forty so it boggles my mind when I try to imagine what it would
be like to not belong to a family.
Although it would be easiest right now to just sit back and enjoy the time I have with the children in my home I am also filled with a sense of responsibility (I might even go so far as to call it “guilt”) that there are children who need homes and we have room for one more. If you’re a foster parent or have felt the need to respond you can’t just sit back because once you know the need is there it’s not something you can so easily ignore.
Although it would be easiest right now to just sit back and enjoy the time I have with the children in my home I am also filled with a sense of responsibility (I might even go so far as to call it “guilt”) that there are children who need homes and we have room for one more. If you’re a foster parent or have felt the need to respond you can’t just sit back because once you know the need is there it’s not something you can so easily ignore.
Take, for example, my friend Julie, who is the mother of five small
children and who could easily say “I’ve done my part in fostering- and I have
my hands full.” But because the shortage of foster homes in her state of Arizona is so crucial that children have to sleep on the floors of child welfare offices- she and her husband have decided to reopen their home to foster children in order to meet that need.
Even if something is
a basically good desire, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the timing is right
at the moment.
I know that our family has room for another child and that
fostering and adopting are good things.
My problem is that some days I get so obsessive about looking through
profiles of Waiting Children that I am overcome with a sense of urgency and I
feel like if things are going to happen they should happen NOW. However, things take time and should most
certainly not be rushed- especially
when it comes to something as crucial as finding the right family for a
child.
Who knows- maybe we won’t end up adopting another child till
our children are older (I am aware of the
need to adopt older children and yet adopting out of birth order happens to be
another big concern for our family) or maybe we won’t end up adopting again
at all but just continue to provide a temporary refuge for foster children
while their families work things out.
Like I mentioned at the beginning of my post, sometimes the greatest display of self-control is turning things over to God and realizing, “Hey- it may not happen for a while. It may not ever happen. So just chill out and enjoy where you’re at right now.”
