Friday, October 2, 2009

Paper Pregnancy Thoughts

Every morning I cross my fingers and check our e-mail to see if any birthmothers have contacted us.
Despite the fact that I've sent out over 270 e-mails since December announcing that we want to adopt (First I sent e-mails to my immediate family members, then to extended family, then close friends, then neighbors, missionary companions, old roommates, high school friends, and finally "Facebook Friends" whom I haven't seen in over 15 years and whom I don't even associate on a regular basis, but Hey- That's what Facebook is for, right?) we've only had one very vague e-mail a couple of weeks ago asking, "Are you still wanting to adopt?"
A couple dozen people actually responded back to our e-mails and said something along the lines of "Good Luck" or "We'll Let You Know if We Hear of Anything" but other than that no leads: NADA-NOTHING-ZILCH.

We were, however, contacted by phone by one birthmother which turned out to be a scam. (After that incident we changed the contact phone number listed on our online profiles to our caseworker's phone number. We just don't have time or the emotional energy for scammers- we went through that with our last adoption!)

As for Foster Care, our Resource Family Consultant called a week or so ago just to check in on us and tell us that although she didn't have any placements for us, she hadn't forgotten about us.

Long story short: I'm starting to feel a little OVERDUE!
We've made it through 9 months of this "paper pregnancy" and I'm starting to wonder:

-HOW MANY MORE TRIMESTERS ARE IN STORE FOR US?
-WILL WE HAVE TO WAIT AS LONG AS AN ELEPHANT TO WELCOME OUR NEXT BABY? (Elephants are the mammals with the longest gestation period of 22 months)

-IS IT OKAY FOR ME TO ADMIT THAT I'M JEALOUS OF MY sweet niece who's expecting her first child (Yes, I'm going to be a great aunt again!) and has LOST 15 POUNDS IN HER FIRST TRIMESTER DUE TO MORNING SICKNESS?
-OR AM I TOTALLY SELFISH FOR WANTING ANOTHER CHILD and I just need to be content and grateful that we've already been blessed with a happy, healthy, beautiful child. (see Alma 29:3, Philipians 4:11, and Hebrews 13:5)
As far as adoption promotion I'm just not brave enough to do Pass-Along Cards or flyers . . . yet. The concept makes me feel so vulnerable, needy, and desperate. But if that's what it takes to find our next child, then I'll just have to summon up the courage.
In the meantime we need to update our online profile with a new family picture and I should probably re-read the posts I read about HOPE!

1 comment:

thriftymomma said...

It is so 0kay to admit you are jealous. I have two beautiful girls through adoption and the other day I met a grandma of two kids at DD 8's school. She confided secretly that her daughter is again pregnant - third time, single mom, dad has disappeared from picture again and my shock was first reaction and then damn right jealousy again. I begin to wonder if it ever goes away. I would love to have another child again and this person gets that so easily - at least the pregnancy bit. So good for you for dealing with it.

Paula - thanks for letting me be part of your blog. It is lovely. Mine is http://www.thriftymommastips.blogspot.com/