GIVEAWAY: Foster Care- One Dog's Story of Change

*To skip to the Giveaway Scroll to the Bottom*

How many fictional children's books do you know of that address the subject of children being in foster care?  There are not many out there, but I would like to introduce you to a wonderful newly published resource:

Foster Care One Dog's Story of Change was written by bestselling author Julia Cook who is not only an author but a counselor as well.  Julia's intent in writing Foster Care One Dog's Story of Change was to help children in foster care to know that they are not alone.  This is a needful objective considering that 273,539 children entered foster care in 2016 according to statistics released from the U.S. Children's Bureau.

Foster Care One Dog's Story of Change explores the ambivalent feelings of children in foster care, although technically the children are not humans but animals.  The illustrations for this book, courtesy Marcela Calderon, are darling!  Of course, I may be somewhat biased because I once had a pug and the main character of the book, a little dog named Foster, happens to be a pug.

One of the most touching parts of the books to me was when, after a caseworker removes one of the animal characters, Zeke, from his home to a safe house she introduces him to her "many friends", including a social worker, a counselor, an attorney, and a doctor who are all work together on the same team- "Team Zeke". 

Zeke describes his caseworker's explanation of "Team Zeke" this way: "She said they all wanted to help me bring my family together again."  I appreciated that description of foster care because it is truly a collaboration of professionals and volunteer foster parents and others who come together for the sake of a child.  Foster care, of course, is a complex process because although the goal is to keep families together, that is not always the outcome.

The strength of this book is that it is centered on the child in foster care and helps them to understand that whatever they are feeling throughout the process: anger, fear, guilt, or sadness- it's okay.  Furthermore, the characters in this book- children living in the same foster home headed by the loving yet fair Miss Beulah, are the greatest supports to each other.  

Foster Care One Dog's Story of Change is not only an excellent resource for children in foster care, but for other children to understand what it might be like to be in foster care.  My children who were adopted from foster care don't remember much about being in foster care since they were so young when they were placed with us but I will definitely read this book with the next child who is placed in our home.

I asked my 10 year old, who has never been in foster care but who has had many foster siblings over the years, to read this book and tell me what she thought about it.  At one point as she was reading she looked over to me with a look of concern on her face and pointed to the picture on the page she was reading and referring to one of the characters explained, "He's been there for two whole years . . . that's why he's crying."  

(Mind you, this particular child can not stand to be away from her parents for more than 2 or 3 days at a time so reading about being separated from family really affected her.)

When my daughter finished the book I asked her what she thought.  These were her words:

"It's good.  It tells you what foster care would be like- you can feel lots of different things." 

I followed up with the question, "How did it make you feel?" and her answers included,

"I felt sad for them being away from their parents. I felt like if I were to go into foster care I would know what it feels like." 

Foster Care One Dog's Story of Change reassures children in foster care, helps to build awareness and sympathy in children not in foster care, and also includes some helpful tips for foster parents and educators on the last couple of pages.  Some of the most effective, in my opinion, are Co-Parenting Matters, Teamwork Matters, and Reassurance Matters.

For more information about the book: www.fostercarestorybook.com

To purchase the book: https://ncyi.org/product/foster-care/

I am eager to spread the word about this book and will be giving away two free copies of Foster Care One Dogs Story courtesy of National Center for Youth Issues to two lucky people.

Giveaway starts 4/12/18 and ends 4/19/18

There are two ways you can enter this giveaway through Rafflecopter:

1) Leave a comment on this blog post telling me where you're from.

2) Visit Adoption & Foster Care: My Personal Experience's Facebook Page and tag someone in the comments who would be interested in this book.

That's it!  Two possible entries available and the winner will be randomly selected by Rafflecopter and announced on 4/19/18.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Garbage Bag Suitcase GIVEAWAY WINNER!

According to Random.Org, the Giveaway WINNER for a free copy of the memoir Garbage Bag Suitcase is . . . 

 Comment #6 (I didn't count Shenandoah's comment):

CONGRATULATIONS, Suzanne!  I'll be contacting you shortly.

Thank You to all who entered- it is fun to read about how foster care or adoption has affected your lives (or maybe it hasn't necessarily, but you were looking for a good read!)

It also occurred to me that the title of this post is something of a misnomer as the winner of the Giveaway didn't actually win a Garbage Bag Suitcase, but a book by that title!

Q:  When should a garbage bag be used as a suitcase?

A:  Hopefully, NEVER!  Which is why I am  always pleased to hear about organizations such as Together We Rise and Case For Character which work to ensure that no foster child has to use a trash bag to store their belongings when they are removed from their home.

Thank you again, Shen, for sharing your story and to JKS Communications for providing a copy of your memoir to my Giveaway Winner.

Garbage Bag Suitcase Book Review and GIVEAWAY

I recently finished reading a memoir sadly yet appropriately titled Garbage Bag Suitcase  written by a woman who suffered a childhood of neglect and abuse because of her parent's drug addiction and alcoholism.

Of her early childhood memories Shenandoah Chefalo recounts,

"Already I was wishing myself out of being raised by my parents. When they were home, I spent most of my time locked in my room, hiding, talking to imaginary and stuffed friends.  I daydreamed about becoming an orphan, and being taken away to live with a real family." (p. 27)

Not only did I want to take young Shenandoah under my wing and into my own home as I read about what she experienced as a child, but I also felt compelled to show some extra compassion and affection to my own children while reading her memoir.

Eventually Shenandoah got her wish of living with a family who offered her the safety, security, and calmness she was not able to experience with her own family.  As a young teenager Shenandoah spent a summer with her mother's older sister and a cousin close to her age in their California home.  Of the normalcy and routine of her new home environment, Shenandoah noted:

"In their house, schedules ran like they did on the TV shows that I watched and had longed to be a part of, like Happy Days and The Brady Bunch.  There was a dinner with a set dinnertime, and a standard bedtime with lights out.  Conversations included things like, "How was your day?" and "What did you do today?"  

These things, the questions, which absolutely irritated Michelle [her cousin] and made her feel like her mom was being overprotective and overbearing, made me swoon with delight.  Somebody who cared about what I was thinking and doing?  Someone who was thoughtful enough to put food on the table for me every day?  Sign me up!" (p.59)

Unfortunately, living with her cousin and aunt only offered a temporary refuge.  Shenandoah had returned "home" from her trip to California with essentially no home to go to and no parents to care for her as her mother had {once again} abandoned her.   Staying with her birth father or step dad were not options either.  After a short stay with her grandmother, Shenandoah entered the foster system when she was 13 years old- by her own choice nonetheless!

Shenandoah first lived with another aunt who was a foster parent before eventually moving into another foster home an hour away in a small and unfamiliar farming community because her aunt thought that home and family would be a better fit for her niece.  As with the many other moves Shenandoah was forced to make in her life, she was accompanied, once again, by her garbage bag suitcase and her stuffed animal and best friend, Love Bunny.

I wish I could tell you that Shenandoah was welcomed into a loving home by a wonderful family but that was not the case.  In fact, her foster family is the exact type of family that gives other foster families (the rest of us!) a bad name.  She recounts her next move this way:

"I assumed that families or couples who were taking in foster kids would be top-notch.  Surely someone who had gone through vigorous training, underwent state background checks, and had a caseworker checking in on them regularly would be the greatest parents of all.

     What I hadn't realized or taken into account was that the system is broken,  There are hundreds of thousands of kids in care, and very few options on where to place or even house them.  Caseworkers change monthly, sometimes more frequently.  I lost count of the number of caseworkers I had after receiving three different ones in the span of two months.  Just when I thought I could trust one to share what was really happening in my life, a new one would take over.  My fear of abandonment amplified with each change.  Because the family who was chosen for me had three children of their own, and other foster kids, it was clear that I was not there for them to dote on me like the long-lost daughter they had always wanted.

I had one purpose I soon discovered, and that was to help pay the bills.  I had become a paycheck."  (p.74-75)

Evidently there are foster families that take children into their homes just for the money.  Sad, but true.  When Shenandoah got a job at a grocery store her paycheck didn't go to herself but to her foster family to cover "expenses".  That fact alone speaks VOLUMES about the character of her foster family.

I think it is essential as part of the screening processes for foster families prior to becoming licensed to require proof (by paycheck stub or tax return) that a family can support themselves without having to rely on any public assistance or from using monthly reimbursements meant to cover the costs of caring for their foster children. 

I was heartbroken for Shenandoah when she was hospitalized following a very serious car accident and she was left to recover in the hospital for three weeks pretty much by herself since her foster family didn't bother to stay with her.  To make matters worse, during her recovery in the hospital she received a card from her estranged birth mother reading, "This could have turned out much better if you'd had died!"

WHAT?! That alone tells you all you need to know about what kind of care (or rather, lack of care) Shenandoah received in her youth. 

As though I weren't disgusted enough with Shenandoah's second foster family I was furious to read about how they continued to ask her for money even AFTER she left their care and was trying to support herself in college through working and student loans.  This leads me to some good news:

Shenandoah aged out of the foster care system and I don't know about you, but when I hear the term "aging out" dismal statistics come to my mind, including high rates of homelessness and incarceration.  Although Shenandoah aged out of the system she beat the odds- not only did she go on to college but she became part of the 1% of foster children who actually graduate from college! Today she is a successful businesswoman and Life Coach who volunteers with many organizations. Shenandoah is also married and has a daughter.

To learn more about Shenandoah Chefalo Click HERE.

Shenandoah has shared her story not only to inspire others who have been through or find themselves in a similar experience- but she has the desire to create an open and honest discussion about what it's like to be a child in the foster care system.  Not only does she address the challenges and disruptions that youth in foster care face but in the second half of her memoir she presents possible solutions.   (That is another topic worthy of a separate blog post!)

I would love for a copy of Garbage Bag Suitcase to get into the hands of a social worker or foster parent.  Better yet, I would love to get a copy into the hands of a youth in foster care!  For that reason, I am sponsoring a Giveaway for a free copy of this book which will be mailed directly to the winner from the publisher.

GIVEAWAY RULES:

-Entries limited to the U.S.

-To enter, simply leave a comment on this post with your name (your first name will suffice)

BONUS ENTRY:  SHARE about this giveaway on social media and comment where or how you shared

A random winner will be selected by RANDOM.ORG.  I will contact you and get your mailing info for your FREE COPY of Shenandoah's memoir, Garbage Bag Suitcase.

This GIVEAWAY has OFFICIALLY STARTED and will end April 22, 2016 at midnight MST.

400 Facebook Fans Giveaway Winner

According to Random.Org The WINNER of my recent Giveaway is Entry #6 . . .

which happens to be . . .

Alice Anne is the mother of two boys- 4 years and 4 months old- who joined her family through adoption. And guess what?  Baby Boy #3 is due sometime THIS MONTH.  Wow!

I hope Alice Anne and her family enjoy God Found Us You and Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born.  They are two wonderful books about adoption which are specifically geared towards little children.

Thanks to everyone who entered the giveaway- perhaps I'll have another one when I reach 500 Facebook Fans. :)

400 Facebook Fans and A GIVEAWAY

ADOPTION & FOSTER CARE: MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES recently reached 400 Facebook Fans so I thought it would be fun to celebrate with A GIVEAWAY!

Over the years I've reviewed or made mention of over a dozen books on this blog having to do with the subjects of adoption, foster care, trauma, parenting, and even infertility.  The winner of this Giveaway will win any TWO of the following books I've reviewed of THEIR CHOICE.

TO ENTER:

1) Look over the names of the books I've reviewed on this blog (see the list at the bottom of this post or browse the collage above) and in the comments tell me which two books you would like to own.   

That's it!

FOR BONUS ENTRIES:

1) Become a Fan of Adoption & Foster Care My Personal Experiences on Facebook & let me know in the comments.  If you're already a fan that counts, too- just let me know in the comments as well.

2) Spread the Word about this giveaway on Facebook, your blog, etc.  Please include where you shared in the comments.

Giveaway Begins Monday, May 25, 2015 and ends on Monday, June 1st at midnight, MST.
Winner will be announced on June 2, 2015.

BOOKS I'VE REVIEWED ON THIS BLOG:

-Another Forgotten Child
-Another Place at the Table
-The Connected Child
-Ezra & Haddassah
-God Found Us You
-Infertility: Hope and Healing
-I Wished For You
-Orphans of the Living
-Out of Many, One Family
-Over The Moon
-Tell Me Again About The Night I Was Born
-The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog
-Too Hurt To Stay
-From Both Sides,
          and coming soon . . .
-What Led Me To You  (I recently read it but have not yet gotten around to finishing my review).

National Adoption Month Blog Tour AND $60 Giveaway

Head on over to Foster2Forever for an Adoption Month BLOG TOUR featuring blog posts from foster adoptive families PLUS a chance to win a $60 Amazon or Paypal Giftcard!

You can also enter the Giveaway here:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

100 Followers and A GIVEAWAY!

My blog now has 100 Followers!  What's most exciting to me is that I've made it to 100 without "bribing" anyone to read my blog- (by way of giveaways).  But Hey- Now that I've reached 100 it sounds like a good time to start selling out celebrating with a GIVEAWAY!

I considered giving away something adoption-related and highly sentimental, but the more practical side of me won out and I decided to go with FOOD because if you're anything like me, it's always nice to be waited on and not have to make a mess of your kitchen preparing a meal or cleaning up afterwards. 

Thus, I will be giving away One $25 GIFT CARD to CHILI'S or OLIVE GARDEN  (Depending on the Winner's preference).

To enter this giveaway, simply leave a comment telling me which you prefer: Olive Garden or Chili’s.

For additional entries:

1)  FOLLOW MY BLOG.  If you're allready a follower, that counts! 

2)  SHARE MY BUTTON.  Add my blog button OR our adoption button to your blog, leaving a link back to your blog in your comment.

3)  SPREAD THE WORD.  Blog about the giveaway OR share on Facebook, leaving a link to the post in your comment. 

That's a total of 4 possible  entries.

DON'T FORGET to include your e-mail address with your comments!*

Giveaway closes on Sunday, August 28, 2011 at 11:59 (MST). Winner will be randomly selected and announced on Monday, August 29, 2011.

* Because I moderate comments and I do, in fact, have a life outside of my computer, don't worry if you don't see your comment show up for a couple of days.  I'm probably just camping up in the mountains and/or soaking up the last days of summer, but I WILL get back to my computer eventually.