A few months ago I was deeply
disturbed to read a local news story of a woman who had {allegedly} killed six of her newborn babies and then hidden their remains in her garage. (A seventh baby
was found but was a stillborn.) “WHAT IN THE WORLD was going through this
woman’s mind to do something so heinous?”
I wondered.
The emotions in my mind as I read
that story were similar to what I felt when I came across the account I wrote
about previously of a “discarded” (but living) baby in China- only this
local case seemed much more bizarre and tragic considering there were multiple
casualties, including the mother herself. (Because
let’s face it- nobody in their right mind could possibly do something like
that. And although mental illness, deep
personal issues, and a lack of support never excuse someone from taking
innocent lives, God is the only one who truly knows what drove this woman to
take such a horrific path not just once but several times.)
Stories of child and infant
abandonment, abortion, or child abuse and neglect in general always strike a
particularly sensitive chord within me as an infertile woman and an adoptive
and foster mother. I’m aware of so many
families who would give anything- and some who have given everything- to have a child or bring another child into
their family. Doubtless others who heard
the disturbing news story also thought, as did I “Why couldn’t this woman have handed the babies over to the care of
someone else or anonymously taken them to a hospital or fire station?” Enter Safe Haven Laws.
Q: What exactly is a Safe Haven
Law?
I like this definition from the
Child Welfare Information Gateway:
A: “Baby Moses laws” or infant safe haven laws
have been enacted as an incentive for mothers in crisis to safely relinquish
their babies to designated locations where the babies are protected and
provided with medical care until a permanent home is found. Safe haven laws
generally allow the parent, or an agent of the parent, to remain anonymous and
to be shielded from prosecution for abandonment or neglect in exchange for
surrendering the baby to a safe haven.”
The first safe haven law in the
U.S. was enacted in Texas in 1999.
Currently, all 50 states, including the District of Columbia and Puerto
Rico, have Safe Haven Laws which protect babies from abandonment and infanticide. For
specific state statutes refer here: https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statues/safehaven.cfm
Brenda Horrocks is an
adoption/foster care buddy of mine who recently shared her story of how their
little boy, Spencer, came to be a part of their family. Spencer was a Safe Haven baby and I thought
Brenda’s words in this
recent radio interview about the women, including her son’s birthmother,
who use Safe Haven Laws to save their babies were very wise, especially
considering the fact that all too often people (myself included) are quick to pre-judge
women who may be faced with such a desperate situation.
Of her son’s birthmother’s decision to use the Safe Haven Law Brenda says:
“We know how much she loved him and just so thankful that she was able
to make that hard decision for him because she was not at that time or
currently in a place where she could be a parent.
There would have been no way for her to really make an adoption plan
because she probably didn’t even know where to go for that ‘cause she was on
her own. This is a situation where she
could give him what she felt like he needed and there in the hospital she had
support- there were people there who could help her whereas outside in the
world there wasn’t anybody.”
Of women faced with crisis pregnancies:
“Making this choice doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. Making this choice to keep your child safe
and healthy and get them a happy life in this way is good parenting and that’s
being a loving mother. I think too often
there’s too many voices out there saying how awful these women and girls are
who hand their babies over or place their babies for adoption in the
traditional sense. They look at them as bad people and they’re not- they are
making the hardest decision anybody would ever have to make.” -Brenda Horrocks
Click HERE to see a video clip of
the Horrocks advocating for Safe Haven laws (and to see what a darling boy
Spencer is).
In light of the gloom of the
horrific story I recounted at the beginning of this post, I would like to share
three short and inspirational clips, which, like the Horrocks family’s story of
their last adopted child, focus on the HOPE that can come from what could have
been tragic circumstances and beginnings for babies.
Grab some Kleenexes.
This last clip is the longest of the three but well worth seven minutes of your time. Although it is technically a commercial it is based on a true story.
This last clip is the longest of the three but well worth seven minutes of your time. Although it is technically a commercial it is based on a true story.
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