400 Facebook Fans and A GIVEAWAY

ADOPTION & FOSTER CARE: MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES recently reached 400 Facebook Fans so I thought it would be fun to celebrate with A GIVEAWAY!

Over the years I've reviewed or made mention of over a dozen books on this blog having to do with the subjects of adoption, foster care, trauma, parenting, and even infertility.  The winner of this Giveaway will win any TWO of the following books I've reviewed of THEIR CHOICE.

TO ENTER:

1) Look over the names of the books I've reviewed on this blog (see the list at the bottom of this post or browse the collage above) and in the comments tell me which two books you would like to own.   

That's it!

FOR BONUS ENTRIES:

1) Become a Fan of Adoption & Foster Care My Personal Experiences on Facebook & let me know in the comments.  If you're already a fan that counts, too- just let me know in the comments as well.

2) Spread the Word about this giveaway on Facebook, your blog, etc.  Please include where you shared in the comments.

Giveaway Begins Monday, May 25, 2015 and ends on Monday, June 1st at midnight, MST.
Winner will be announced on June 2, 2015.

BOOKS I'VE REVIEWED ON THIS BLOG:

-Another Forgotten Child
-Another Place at the Table
-The Connected Child
-Ezra & Haddassah
-God Found Us You
-Infertility: Hope and Healing
-I Wished For You
-Orphans of the Living
-Out of Many, One Family
-Over The Moon
-Tell Me Again About The Night I Was Born
-The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog
-Too Hurt To Stay
-From Both Sides,
          and coming soon . . .
-What Led Me To You  (I recently read it but have not yet gotten around to finishing my review).

Unconditional Love: A Foster Adoption Documentary

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, over 20,000 children age out of the U.S. foster care system each year, putting them at an increased risk for homelessness, unemployment, pregnancy, prostitution and incarceration.  This 2012 infographic courtesy of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption illustrates some of these risks:

This is a crisis which cannot be ignored.

The production of a public television documentary which tells the stories of five teens who were adopted by loving families is underway.  In addition, this documentary, appropriately titled Unconditional Love,  will also be highlighting organizations which have found successful strategies in finding adoptive parents for youth in foster care.

To make a tax deductible donation to the crowdfunding campaign to fund the filming of Unconditional Love and/or to help spread the word about the film please refer to the following links:

Unconditional Love Crowdfunding Campaign on Indiegogo

Unconditional Love, The Documentary- Official Facebook Page

How Much Do Foster Families Get Paid?

I've shared my feelings about doing foster care for the money in the post In It For the Money but I recently came across two articles which are MUST-READS for anyone who has honestly ever wondered "How Much Do Foster Families Get Paid?" and especially for anyone who might erroneously believe that foster parents take children into their home solely for the money.

A shout out to Megan for this well-written article she recently wrote for adoption.com, How Much Do Foster Parents Get Paid?

I Foster For The Money by Jill Rippy of The Foster Life had me chuckling at the beginning and quickly sobered me into silence the next moment.

The bottom line is that foster parents do not get "paid".  They are reimbursed for the costs it takes to care for the children placed in their homes which may or may not cover the actual costs.

To view reimbursement rates by U.S. state click here.

It does take money to care for children, but TIME and LOVE are other equally important sacrifices a family should take into account when considering what it takes to welcome a foster child into their home.

Mother's Day Thoughts 2015

My Facebook Status for today:

"I'm very mindful this day (and always) of the women who gave my beautiful children life. It is truly humbling to share the sacred gift of motherhood with two women who gave my children what I could not give them myself. From this and other mothering experiences I have learned that love is not meant to be divided up or confined but is most beautiful when it is shared among many."

Positive Adoption Language Infographic

I came across this infographic today courtesy of United Methodist Communications and I couldn't help but share as I've certainly been frustrated in the past by certain terms people use when talking about adoption. 

The thing is- not everybody knows that a certain term might be hurtful- and that is why I liked this infographic so much- these are simply suggestions of what terms to use- "instead of this, say this" in order to avoid miscommunication with a brief explanation of WHY a specific term might send an unintended message.

In addition to the infographic, adoptive mother and pastor Angela Flanagan, shared more helpful hints about asking questions, making assumptions, and even touched on some of the challenges unique to adoptive families, and transracial adoptive families in particular, where adoption is obvious, including the following:

" Asking appropriate questions with healthy language of friends is very different from asking questions of perfect strangers. Before you ask or comment, consider what it might feel like to have your family questioned everywhere you go by people who you don’t know and what effect that has on the children. 

If you aren’t sure if a question is appropriate or if you are using appropriate
language, please refrain, or at the very least, refrain while in front of
the children."

On a related note of shielding questions about an adopted child's history- especially when asked in front of the child, sometimes it's not just those who ask the questions that need to take a step back, but those who answer and provide information (because adoptive parents are human, too)!

This is something which I'm learning to find a balance with.  On the one hand I love educating people about foster care or how the adoption process works, and I'm glad to be able to share my experiences with them.  But on the other hand I realize "Just because I want to educate others and am happy to talk about my experiences doesn't necessarily mean I have to share every detail about my children's backgrounds with everyone who asks- especially when they ask in front of the children- because although my child's story is definitely a part of my story- it is ultimately their story to tell."