This post was first published in MEM's MEMOS on August 12, 2008
I must admit that when we first started the adoption process with LDS Family Services 3 or so years ago I was a little uneasy at the prospect of having to “sell ourselves” to birthmothers who could choose from an enormous amount of couples waiting to adopt. It was, quite frankly, competitive, and that really bugged me. Do other couples have to “compete” to get a child? Of course not! Then why do we have to? It’s not fair!”
When our daughter turns one next month we will be eligible to start the adoption process again with LDS Family Services and I have felt some of those old concerns creep back up again. Although my husband and I aren’t “old” we’re not in our 20’s anymore. Wouldn’t most birthmothers want to place their child with a couple in their 20’s rather than their 30’s? I am no longer skinny and my husband is going bald. This year I even discovered my first gray hairs- What‘s up with that?! Surely a birthmother would rather choose a couple that looks like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt than a chubby lady and her balding husband, right? Maybe I should lose fifty pounds before we start the adoption process again so that I can be a healthier, more confident mother to my children.
And then there’s the question of WHEN exactly to start the adoption process again: Since it is the Lord’s timing and not our timing we don’t know exactly what to expect, and waiting to adopt is so unpredictable anyway- it could take anywhere from a couple of months to two or three years from the time we are finally approved for adoption till we get that life-changing phone call that our child is HERE!
Other considerations: Maybe we should wait to start the adoption process again until after M. is potty-trained so that we don’t have two babies in diapers at the same time. Maybe we should wait till we have a little more money saved up for a new car (or mini-van). What happens if Molly or Justin come back into the foster care system after we turn in our papers? What if, by some miracle, I get pregnant?
After much consideration, we have decided to wait to start the adoption process again until M. is 18 months old- unless the Lord tells us otherwise, that is. Because one thing we‘ve both learned is that sometimes the Lord‘s plans are different from our own plans. In that case we need to humble ourselves and accept His will which is often easier said than done. It’s all in the Lord’s hands.
I must admit that when we first started the adoption process with LDS Family Services 3 or so years ago I was a little uneasy at the prospect of having to “sell ourselves” to birthmothers who could choose from an enormous amount of couples waiting to adopt. It was, quite frankly, competitive, and that really bugged me. Do other couples have to “compete” to get a child? Of course not! Then why do we have to? It’s not fair!”
When our daughter turns one next month we will be eligible to start the adoption process again with LDS Family Services and I have felt some of those old concerns creep back up again. Although my husband and I aren’t “old” we’re not in our 20’s anymore. Wouldn’t most birthmothers want to place their child with a couple in their 20’s rather than their 30’s? I am no longer skinny and my husband is going bald. This year I even discovered my first gray hairs- What‘s up with that?! Surely a birthmother would rather choose a couple that looks like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt than a chubby lady and her balding husband, right? Maybe I should lose fifty pounds before we start the adoption process again so that I can be a healthier, more confident mother to my children.
And then there’s the question of WHEN exactly to start the adoption process again: Since it is the Lord’s timing and not our timing we don’t know exactly what to expect, and waiting to adopt is so unpredictable anyway- it could take anywhere from a couple of months to two or three years from the time we are finally approved for adoption till we get that life-changing phone call that our child is HERE!
Other considerations: Maybe we should wait to start the adoption process again until after M. is potty-trained so that we don’t have two babies in diapers at the same time. Maybe we should wait till we have a little more money saved up for a new car (or mini-van). What happens if Molly or Justin come back into the foster care system after we turn in our papers? What if, by some miracle, I get pregnant?
After much consideration, we have decided to wait to start the adoption process again until M. is 18 months old- unless the Lord tells us otherwise, that is. Because one thing we‘ve both learned is that sometimes the Lord‘s plans are different from our own plans. In that case we need to humble ourselves and accept His will which is often easier said than done. It’s all in the Lord’s hands.
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