This post was originally posted on MEM's MEMOS on May 11, 2008
I have been married for almost eight years now, but today is the very first Mother's Day of my married life that I am actually a mother!! Over the past 5 or 6 years I have dreaded going to church on Mother's Day because invariably a member of the bishopbric or somebody asks all the mothers to stand and be recognized. Even though I wanted nothing more than to be a mother I would have to remain sitting with empty arms and a broken heart and I would feel so out of place. It can be hard to feel valued as a childless woman in a church that places such an emphasis on families. I'm sure single members of my church face similar feelings.
I have been married for almost eight years now, but today is the very first Mother's Day of my married life that I am actually a mother!! Over the past 5 or 6 years I have dreaded going to church on Mother's Day because invariably a member of the bishopbric or somebody asks all the mothers to stand and be recognized. Even though I wanted nothing more than to be a mother I would have to remain sitting with empty arms and a broken heart and I would feel so out of place. It can be hard to feel valued as a childless woman in a church that places such an emphasis on families. I'm sure single members of my church face similar feelings.
I have also thought about the many other reasons women may have a hard time whenever Mother's Day comes around: there must be some who have had a recent miscarriage or are remembering a child who has died. Perhaps some feel guilty because they have a child who has strayed, or maybe there is a single mother who is overwhelmed by having to take on dual roles of both mother and father to her children.
Today my husband was asked to speak in Church on the topic of motherhood. He did a great job of making the point that ALL women-regardless of whether they are married or have children- can develop mother-like qualities as they nurture, lead, or inspire children. He also quoted from two wonderful talks: M. Russell Ballard's Daughters of God from last month's General Conference and Because She is a Mother (1997) by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. I loved these talks because after reading them, I felt appreciated for the things I had done rather than feeling guilty for not being perfect.
Happy Mother's Day to ALL Women who have a positive influence on children!
Happy Mother's Day to M's birthmother, wherever she may be. It is because of her selflessness and love that I am able to be a mother to such a precious baby girl!
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