Monday, July 20, 2009

Congratulations, It's a Cyst!

I would venture to guess that when most women go in for an ultrasound it is to determine the size and sex of the baby growing inside of their womb. This has not been the case with me thus far.

I have had three ultrasounds in my life. The first one was on my knee following a car accident when I was 18- Fortunately, nothing was wrong.

The second ultrasound was on my "female parts" over two years ago. That ultrasound revealed that I had some ovarian cysts and a polyp on my uterus. Consequently I had surgery to confirm that these growths were caused by endometriosis.

My most recent ultrasound was last month. After putting up with considerable pain and cramping which has just gotten worse over the past three or four months my husband finally urged me to make an appointment with my OB-GYN. I kept putting it off because going to the gynecologist is my LEAST FAVORITE THING TO DO!

My doctor gave me an exam and ordered an ultrasound as she suspected my endometriosis is growing back. Unfortunately, the news I received at Ultrasound #3 wasn't "Congratulations, It's a Girl! or "You're Having a Boy!" but rather, "It looks like you have another endometrial cyst on your ovary."

The GOOD NEWS is that endometrial cysts are non-cancerous and they can be removed. The disappointing news is that there's not a tiny baby growing inside of me but rather a pain-causing nuisance.

My doctor discussed my options with me: Since the pain is interfering with my life (I'm not in pain every single day, but about half of the time) I can:

OPTION # 1) Go on a medication which would cause me to go into early menopause.
No thanks, I'd rather wait to go through menopause when Mother Nature actually plans for me to go through menopause! Furthermore, if I go through an early menopause I won't be able to get pregnant.

MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING! I just turned 35 and although I've been told that there is no reason aside from endometriosis that I shouldn't be able to get pregnant it just hasn't happened yet.

Don't get me wrong, it's not the end of the world if I never have the chance to be pregnant- after all, my husband and I have been very blessed with a beautiful baby girl THANKS TO ADOPTION. But I do think it would be neat to experience a pregnancy and be able to relate to what most women go through in their lifetime. I would actually have something to add to conversations of breastfeeding and epidurals, rather than just sitting quietly and smiling like a silent fool!

OPTION # 2) Go back on birth control.
No thanks, for the same reasons above plus I don't want to deal with any other unnecessary hormonal symptoms- I have enough of that.

OPTION # 3) Surgery. This would at least "clean me out" and make me symptom-free for another three or four years.

I decided to go with surgery which brought up some mixed emotions:
I'm hopeful that this surgery could increase my chances of becoming pregnant BUT
I feel like everyone around me who knows that I am getting this surgery will EXPECT me to get pregnant.

I feel like my body has betrayed me in the past and I have felt like a total failure. Now I feel like if I don't get pregnant after this surgery I won't just be letting myself down, but I will be letting everyone else down as well.

1 comment:

Alena said...

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